The outlook is cloudy but fine for Cloud Computing

Here at Rabid Reseller we’re totally wired to the latest and greatest in technology circles and that means ‘Cloud Computing’. Yep. We’ve read the white papers, we’ve read the green papers, we’ve read the newspapers and we’ve even tried to read between the lines. Trust us, it’s just blank space. But we can see when there’s a paradigm shift about to occur and we’re not about to be left behind. We know from past experience all about paradigms – shift happens.

We’ve got shelves full of software applications that nobody is buying, so we knew something was happening. Nobody wants Office, even at the special academic price. And nobody wants Open Office either. Well, nobody wants to pay for it in the shop. Word got out that you can download it for free. Stupid Google. There’s obviously no resellers in that particular company. And no wonder – they’re the main ones behind this cloud computing push. Does Google actually sell anything?

We’re ahead of them though. We’ve already ordered the sky-writing for the weekend right over the football match. Well, where else would you advertise Cloud Computing? And what we have to offer is way better than anything Google has available. For starters, we’ve got exclusive content from the Bureau of Meteorology – after all they’re the acknowledged experts on what’s happening with clouds. And to follow up we’ve got some boffins from the CSIRO’s Division of Cloud Physics – they know all about seeding the market.

We were going to get some skydivers to leap into the various football stadiums towing huge bags of actual clouds but apparently skyhooks don’t actually exist. Who knew? Must have decided to quit when Shirley crashed his chopper. We tried to book the Rolling Stones, but their manager said they wouldn’t play Get Off My Cloud no matter how much we offered and, well, we weren’t offering anything close to, no matter how much. We were close to signing with Coopers Sparkling Ale but instead we’ll be sponsoring the weather channel, as long as they agree not to change the forecast every day. It has to be “cloudy but fine” every day or no deal.

Now, when it comes to the actual software as a service that we’re offering to our valued customers, we’re hosting it on a brand new server which the nephew custom-built from specially selected components. You don’t believe us? Well, they really were specially selected. Oh alright, they were in a box of recycled warranty stuff, but he had to specially select the bits that still worked. Now, if those parts have survived out in the real world then rescued from the remnants of a fried server, they will probably last forever. Of course, “forever” is just a marketing term which describes the interval between techno fads. But you knew that already.

And the software we’ve got running on this server is utterly amazing! At least that’s what the brochure says. And it’s always available, no matter where you are or where you’ve been! Indeed, that is what the brochure says. Who wrote this stuff? Where’s that nephew? And why can’t I connect to the server? We’re supposed to go live this weekend. Cloudy but fine? He’ll be seeing clouds alright when we get hold of him and he won’t be feeling fine, either.

Gotta go! It’s started raining!

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