Vote early, vote often

Well, that's one election over and done with, and by all accounts there were few surprises.

Scratch out the opening paragraph if Debonair Debnam has pulled a Bracks manoeuvre out of his back pocket since we penned this missive.

But the polls certainly didn’t predict any change and the bookmakers are usually right, which makes the next election on the agenda even more interesting. According to the polls, nobody is going to vote for the PM.

Rabid’s not about to start caring who gets elected, unless one side or the other promises rebates for resellers, but there’s a sniff of a serious business opportunity going begging here – yes indeed, welcome to Rabid Research.

What’s missing from all these polls is any sense of balance. What’s the point of having everyone agree with each other? There’s no media mileage in politicians feigning disbelief at endless negative or positive polls. They should be armed with contradictory polls to beat each other over the head with.

What’s desperately needed is some polling you can predict – for an appropriate yet reasonable fee – which will prove once and for all that the other side are a complete bunch of dills without an original policy idea who have just been sitting on their bums collecting our taxes for far too long.

Well, that’s what you get if you choose our ‘Change’ polling package.
Our ‘No Change’ offering will prove how bad things will get if you allow the other mob to get their hands on your interest rates. And for NSW politicians, we offer the ‘Apathy’ package, which proves nobody gives a damn as long as it rains soon.

Rabid Research makes extensive use of technology to provide our premier polling service, including virtual reality websites, belligerent blogs and talkback radio surveys.

But we can confidently state that 90 percent of RabidPlace™ visitors are in complete agreement with whatever you’re asking. Just give us a few minutes to attach the RabidRort™ credits to the pre-printed polling papers. Some things you still have to do manually.

Don’t waste money on endless focus groups. At Rabid Research we have our own RabidRoundtable™ where every issue is fully and frankly discussed before we agree with you completely. Life’s too short for all this confrontation. If you want to know whether the ‘battlers’ will support your plans for the invasion of Norfolk Island, the answer is an astonishing 85 percent in favour.

On the question of invading New Zealand, we really can’t be much help – there’s only so much you can achieve with a simple bribe, and those Orcs are scary.

Rabid Research is not only concerned with matters political – we can help vendors decide which products the market is begging to buy. Don’t waste time on prototypes; just follow our ready-made instant-gratification guidebook. For starters, anything with a huge cash-back offer is always popular with punters.

Not that much different from political polling really. This time we’re on a winner for certain – 90 percent of respondents cannot be wrong.
Gotta go! Customers waiting!

election rabid reseller vote strategy