Service this

OPINION: Just can’t seem to make a quid out of hardware any more. Looks like all the analysts were finally right about something, so Rabid Reseller is moving to a service-oriented model. No more hardware sales with those huge boxes cluttering up the shop and the back room. Not to mention having to pay for them before we sell them.

We’ve signed a contract with a huge multinational partner, and it’s going to be our online web store. We’ll just tell customers to order online from ‘our’ shop and then charge them a modest fee to set everything up and install the software. We’re still selling software direct, plenty of margin there and a lot less warehouse space. All the research says this is the way to go, and only the service-oriented will survive.

Hang on, phone’s ringing.

Rabid Reseller: Rabid Reseller, what can we do you for?
Hapless Customer: You told me to order stuff online from your web store then you’d come and install it?
RR: That’s right, click away on ‘our’ online shop and give us a call when the stuff arrives and we’ll bring over your software and set everything up just right.
HC: Well, I’ve done that already, but the same software that you quoted is in the online store and it’s cheaper.
RR: Well, yes but, OK, look if you want to save a few dollars, order the software online too and we’ll come and install everything, OK?
HC: But they say it will all be installed free at the factory.
RR: Whu? Ah, look, let me get back to you on that.

Good grief! The new service model didn’t last long. That’s got to be a record. We only decided on the new business plan last night after the six-pack and pizza, and by 9:30 this morning we’re buggered.
Who does the research for these anal-ysts? Service business model indeed. Who are these online ‘partners’ anyway? Contract cancelled as of now.
Phone again.

RR: Rabid Reseller, what can we do you for?
HC: It’s me again, I’ve ordered that stuff online and now ...
RR: We’ll do it for less.
HC: Whu?
RR: Our online prices are out of date already, so we’ll sell you the same for less, if you come into the shop. OK?
HC: Oh, OK, I guess. I’ll cancel this order and come in to your shop. But I’m bringing this quote with me.
RR: See you soon!

Right, now I’d better get online and see what ‘our’ partner’s prices are like. No point dropping my pants too far on price unless I have to. Whoa! Are these prices real? Where’s the date on this? Today. Hmmm. That’s below my buy-price and it includes delivery. Maybe I could order from them myself and stick my RR logo on the front. Too bad all their stuff is blue.
There’s that phone again.

RR: Rabid Reseller, what can we do you for?
HC: I can’t cancel my order.
RR: You haven’t ordered anything.
HC: No, I can’t cancel my online order for the new PC and software.
RR: Ur, you can just close the browser.
HC: No, I already entered my credit card and clicked on order. But I want to get the stuff direct from you to save money. What can I do?
RR: Well, dunno, er, maybe send it back when it gets delivered?
HC: Then I’d have to pay for the courier. Can’t I bring it to your shop?
RR: Whu? Ah, look, let me get back to you on that.

This is not the way it was supposed to work. This is supposed to be a shop. We sell stuff. We don’t collect stuff from other shops and send it back to them. At least I’ll get to see if ‘our’ online store sells decent kit.
Damn phone is ringing off the hook this morning.

RR: Rabid Reseller, what can we do you for?
HC: You’re sending me two.
RR: Who is sending you two of what?
HC: Your online customer service people rang and said I clicked on the order twice and they can’t reverse the transaction so now I’m going to get two of everything.
RR: Anyone in your family got a birthday coming up?

Gotta go! Customers waiting!