Bitter and twisted? Not Rabid

Well the prime minister’s 2020 summit has come and gone, and you’ll be pleased to know that Rabid was there waving the banner for all resellers across this wide brown land. Yep, we had some ideas for the future and we stood our ground and demanded they be heard. No, we weren’t inside the building, that’s the point – they forgot to invite resellers! And the banner said so in no uncertain terms, although “Resellers are Rabid” wasn’t interpreted the way we expected by the nice men in blue uniforms.

Why didn’t the PM invite resellers to his summit of elites? Oh, wait, there’s the clue – we guess we’re not elite enough out here in reseller land. Never mind that it’s us what makes the whole country operate. Where would you buy anything without resellers? OK, call them retailers if you must, but where would you buy stuff without us? At the farm gate? And where is the farm for PCs exactly? We’re an essential part of the economy but we were ignored – again.

Let me tell you right now Rabid is mad as hell and will be right up until 2020 which is not that far away – only three more Olympic torch relay debacles into the future. What’s the point of having all those great ideas if there’s nobody to tell them how to sell them? Or more to the point, to tell them exactly why you’ll never be able to sell some of their ideas to anyone – ever – even if they’re free. And frankly, that’s twice what some of the lame suggestions were worth. And who are those men in the nice blue uniforms?

You probably think we’re just bitter and twisted because we weren’t invited, and you’d probably be right. But we ask you, “cultural microeconomic reform” and “institutionalising long-sightedness”? These people weren’t just elite, they were so elite they must have come from a nearby planet, and they might not even be carbon-based life forms. This fits rather well with Rabid’s long-held belief that the universe is riddled with aliens but our governments refuse to let us talk to them. Do you think they wear blue informs?

Oh no, they prefer to keep their other worldly advice all to themselves so they can appear much cleverer than us, but the truth gets out now and then when another yokel from Wichita gets abducted and anally probed.

Yeah, sure we used to wonder about why the aliens only ever abduct people from the mid-west of the USA but the obvious answer is that nobody ever believes them anyway so the governments of the world agreed to allow the aliens to have their way with them, knowing their secrets would remain safe.

Anyway, that gets us right back to the 2020 summit. We reckon the whole thing was infiltrated by aliens. That’s why the ideas were so loopy and “out of this world”.

And the amount of hot air generated has probably increased global warming far more than the drive down to Canberra in Rabid’s Humvee.

Well, we were going to convert it to LPG but we’d need to tow a trailer to hold the gas bottles. And besides, it’s a historical vehicle, or soon will be.

Bet you won’t find any around in 2020.

Gotta go! Elites want summit!

and bitter not rabid strategy twisted