Opinion: Cold call

Like you care.

It’s just great down here in Sydney today – it’s so good to be working inside instead of being outside enjoying this beautiful day!

Which sales dweeb did you say you were again?

Ian, it’s I.M. Drone here, from Vogon Distribution, representing Borg Technology, and I just know you’re going to be as excited as I am about their latest product and your customers will be begging you to take their orders!

Borg Technology? Who? What do they do? Do we already sell their stuff?

Ian, they are the global leaders in their field. You couldn’t possibly submit a proposal to any of your customers without including their enterprise levelling remediating ultramax technology!

Right, but what does that actually do?

Ian, this week I’ve got Borg Technology’s executive VP in charge of junkets visiting Sydney and I think I can reserve a personal and exclusive product-briefing slot just for you and your sales team.

Yes, but what do Borg Technology DO?

Ian, he’s really, really, busy, what with all the over-priced restaurants and up-market bordellos he wants to visit and the political leaders that need lobbying, but he specifically asked me to make sure you had the opportunity to talk with him while he’s here.

He did? He knows me? I don’t think so, and what does Borg Technology do exactly?

Oh Ian, he’s read all your columns in CRN, and he’s very impressed with the way you cover the critical issues.


Really? He really reads my columns? Wow! Which one was his favourite?

Ian, he’s been around! He’s been following your work for simply ages. But he never picks favourites. That would be telling.

Yeah, well, that was kinda the point of that question. Whatever. Look what does Borg Technology do again?

So, Ian, which day is good for you? He has some slots on Thursday and one left on Friday.

I don’t remember saying I would talk with him. What was his name again? And what does Borg Technology DO for chrissakes?

Ian, I could possibly get him to make a presentation over lunch if that’s better for you and your team.

Look, Drone, I don’t know this company and I don’t know whatever-his-name is. What did you say his NAME was? And I’m not even selling products for enterprise levelling and remediation. What IS enterprise levelling and remediation? Why are we having this conversation?

Ian, I’ll send you some background information before you come to the presentation, then you’ll be up-to-date with Borg Technology’s latest groundbreaking technology. You’ll soon see why they are the global leaders in their field.

Yeah, right. Look, I’ve gotta go.

OK, Ian, it was so good to catch up with you again. Let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you.

You haven’t done anything for me yet...

That’s what I’m here for! Just give me a call!

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