Publish or perish

Fantastic to hear the news that the new media laws have come into force! All hail Saint Helen of Communications! Rabid has been eagerly waiting on the sidelines for an opportunity to expand into the lucrative world of mainstream media.

No more of this podcast, vidcast, webcast and other online rubbish on which Sk8er Boi wastes his days listening, watching and reading.

No more Second Life experiments. Now the legal impediments have been removed we can begin our foray into the world of Real Media which reaches Real People. And make some money!

We’re not about to mortgage the shop to get into this opportunity so we’ll start with something nice and small such as a few regional newspapers which the media barons are desperate to shed so they can acquire some radio and TV stations.

We hear on the grapevine there’s a couple of newspapers on the NSW Coast up for grabs, so surely Rabid can have one of these tiddlers for a reasonable investment.

After all, how much could The Hunter Post fetch on the open market?
Of course, if Rabid was successful in gaining control of such an august publication, we’d transform the newspaper’s pages with some scintillating stories about the wonders of information technology and the fantastic bargains available from our soon-to-be-opened coastal outlet.

We can’t believe there are all that many hunters or posters in the region who would miss the change of format. We’re not even sure what a poster does, or why they have their own newspaper. Hunters we can accommodate within the new-look newspaper.

Planning ahead, we’ll need to change the name of the paper to reflect the new ownership and the new direction. We’re thinking Rabid Hunter. Or maybe Rabid Post Hunter? Or perhaps Post Rabid Hunter? That’s more like it.

Everyone loves to be post-modern or post-something, so we could probably get some traction with a name such as that, and imbue a sense of renewal at the same time. Hang on, Sk8er Boi’s found some information about The Hunter Post on Google. Sometimes the nephew’s obsession with Web 2.0 can be useful. Not often. But sometimes.

Whoa! The Hunter Post is a free newspaper! What’s that about?

They give the thing away to anyone who asks. Oh no, it’s even worse than that –they pay people to deliver the thing to every letterbox in the region! Well, perhaps that might be good news for Rabid.

The newspaper can’t be worth much if it’s free, so we should be able to get the whole outfit for a similar price. That’s the only sort of investment Rabid can afford in reality. Our calls to the private equity outfits remain unanswered despite the numerous messages we’ve left for them. Only the churlish would call it begging.

Hang on. Sk8er Boi again. Some bloke called Rupert has already made an offer for our target newspaper which is a tad above
the current float in Rabid’s cash register. Curses. So does anybody have the phone number for The Kickatinalong Courier? Or maybe The Tearabagapart Tribune?

Gotta go! Media moguls calling!

mobility publish rabid