Rabid's global domination vision slows in tough times

This Global Financial Crisis® looks like it will hit the Rabid Reseller chain pretty hard.

When we say “chain” we’re actually referring to our dream to create a chain of Rabid Resellers across the country.

That’s pretty much stuffed now, so you see we’re not immune. And it also looks like there will be massive layoffs here, too.

When we say massive, we’re actually referring to our grossly obese nephew who’s been in charge of the Catering Department.

More like the Chocolate and Chips Department – Consumption Branch, in reality.

And when we say layoff, well, it’s true he wasn’t getting paid an awful lot.

Well, anything really, but hey, that boy could eat far more than you could pay him anyway. Not that we tried. To pay him, that is.

But around here that’s a 50 percent reduction in staffing levels so you can see that the Global Financial Crisis® is not just affecting the USA and Europe. It’s hitting us hard right here at home, too.

And we mean that literally as well. Uncle Tony sure hit us hard when we told him we’d had to let the nephew go.

He’s even less understanding than a sub-prime loans manager. And of course, he reminded us who owns the building where Rabid Reseller is located, which we weren’t likely to forget anyway.

You can’t easily ignore the constant comings and goings of the local chapter of the Grateful Gremlins Motorcycle Club.

They seem to meet rather regularly in the upstairs flat, which you wouldn’t have thought could accommodate 20 or so bikers.

But they don’t seem to be affected at all by the Global Financial Crisis® and you can’t complain too much, for a couple of reasons, the main one being that they hit even harder than Uncle Tony.

And besides, they’re very clean, not that we’ve gone up to look or anything, but they sure seem to use a lot of hydrochloric acid, which surely could only be for stain removal.

Also, all that bike riding must play heck with their sinuses – they’re forever carrying boxes of Codral upstairs.

They must get a bulk discount or something.

They’ve also got some kind of sophisticated bar up there – well, the nephew regularly says he’s just popping upstairs to grab some ice and you wouldn’t
need all that ice without lots of beer would you?

However, they’re not interested in technology that’s for sure, at least not in the stuff we sell. All they care about is security, but not anti-virus or firewalls.

They’re just paranoid about getting burgled, judging by all the video cameras pointing down the stairs, and up the street, and out into the back lane.

You wouldn’t think anybody would want to rob a bikers’ clubhouse – all they’ve got is some beer and some bad attitude.

But we’re not complaining, because all those cameras deter anyone from breaking into Rabid Resellers, where there really is some stuff worth stealing, and it’s not costing us anything.

But it would have been nice if they’d bought some of the stuff from our shop.

At least we could have provided the monitors.

Still no point complaining, they did give the nephew a job when we let him go, and he does look rather spiffing in his boots, Levi’s and leather jacket.

Not sure why he’s stopped showering, but we figure he’s growing the beard to prove he’s a bloke – obviously some of the club members thought he was a girl.

They’re always yelling out “get me some more ice, bitch!”

Gotta go, ice is melting!

domination finance global in rabids slows times tough vision