Opinion: Sent by my ego

What, exactly are they trying to tell us? “My phone is better than yours nyah-nyah-nyah”? “I’m cleverer than you because I can send email wherever I am”? Maybe what they’re really telling us is not quite what they hoped.

Whenever I get an email with one of those signatures I think; “You need email inserted up your nostrils 24/7 to make it seem like you have a life.” You want to tell them to get out more, but they’re already doing that, it’s just that they don’t even understand why they were told to get out more in the first place. Getting a life and getting out more requires you to stop being a nerd for at least a short time each day.

Now, if you really must take your email-addiction with you everywhere, why on earth do you want to advertise the fact? Perhaps it is part of some emailoholics anonymous recovery program. “Hi, my name is Fred and I am an emailoholic. I can’t live without email being available 24/7. But I will declare my addiction by putting that tagline on the bottom of every email. This will help me to recover.”

Bzzzt. Wrong answer. Thanks for coming, but no prize for you. Here’s a scary idea – leave your Crackberry or JesusPhone on the desk, and go for a walk in the park. Send me an email when you get back, unless of course, the world really did end because you had no communication device for half an hour.

But don’t expect me to respond right away because battery’s gone flat from reading all those emails with stupid byte-wasting signatures. I’d forgive them if they were funny. But this is just sad.