Five seconds to explain why you’re a PC

Microsoft’s reported $US300 million ad campaign to rejuvenate the Windows brand has taken an interesting turn lately.

Following initial lukewarm reaction to the very long ad spots featuring the very famous faces of Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld, for which Seinfeld was reportedly compensated some $10 million (and this was back when $10 million was a lot of money), the next phase of the campaign features anyone who wanders into a booth and records a message about why they are a PC.

For their efforts, participants are to be compensated nil.

Taking a cue from Apple’s “I’m a Mac” ads, which depict comedian John Hodgman identifying himself as a PC running Windows and expressing the inferiority he feels next to the Mac, Microsoft ads are going to feature ordinary folks saying “I’m a PC” and expressing why that makes them feel superior.

The best part is that the duration of any one person’s moment in the spotlight to say why they love Windows so much is a mere five seconds.

Rodeo riders get eight seconds to make their mark on the world – apparently Microsoft feels that Windows enthusiasts won’t be able to find that much nice to say about its products.

It can’t fail.

Microsoft has set up booths where people can go in and record their fleeting testimonials in various locations (so far just in the USA, but an idea this good will surely spread internationally).

Some have even been set up outside Apple-owned retail stores – a natural place to go looking for Windows enthusiasts.

You may wonder why you didn’t think of it yourself.

The person I feel really sorry for in all this is the person back at Microsoft or its ad agency who has to do the vetting of all of these spots.

Hundreds and hundreds of them, second after second, minute after minute, hours becoming days, trying to find the people who actually say something about Windows that can be played on network television.

“I’m a PC because I crash all the time.”

“I’m a PC because I look kind of like a Mac, but I’m not.”

“I’m a PC because I’m bloated and slow-moving.”

“I’m a PC because I can’t turn around twice without getting a virus.”

“I’m a PC because everyone uses me whether they want to or not.”

“I’m a PC because someone took over my brain and stole your bank account.”

“I’m a PC because I just encountered an unknown error and must restart.”

And on and on it will go.

Becoming, I have no doubt, even funnier the 20th time you hear each line.

I hope they’re working them in shifts.

The great irony of course is that attempting to “reclaim” the “I’m a PC” line from Apple serves to reinforce Apple’s “I’m a Mac” ads in the public consciousness.

Not to mention painting Apple as a legitimate competitor rather than a minority player in the desktop computer market.

The great marketing genius Mohandas K. Gandhi probably put it best: “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you. Then you win.”

Matthew JC. Powell is a carbon-based lifeform. Say hi on mjcp@optusnet.com.au

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