Apple TV is out of touch

I read recently that “people familiar with the matter” have confirmed to a certain media outlet that Apple had “quietly shelved” its plans to release a television set. Decided not to make a big fuss or announcement, I guess – unlike all the fanfare around the various announcements it has (not) made about the impending release of the thing.

People familiar with this column will, of course, recall that I’ve been saying for some time that Apple would never release a TV set, on account of the fact that doing so wouldn’t make a lick of sense. I am not alone in that – any pundit worth their punds has been saying the same thing for years. The TV set business isn’t a place where big profits are to be made, nor is it a place where Apple can do much in the way of disruption. Apple doesn’t want to be a commodity player. Now, apparently, people familiar with the matter have reached the same conclusion.

The rumours of an Apple TV set have been around for many, many years, even before Apple co-founder Steve Jobs died. They were given a boost by a paragraph in his authorised biography, in which he reportedly told Walter Isaacson he’d “cracked” the solution to how Apple could revolutionise TV.

Tragically, in the time between when Jobs mentioned that to Isaacson and when he transcended this mortal plane to become One with the Infinite, he neglected to fill in any of his colleagues in Cupertino on the solution. Or even to jot it down on a Post-it. It ranks among history’s great cliffhangers somewhere between Fermat’s notation that he had an “elegant proof” for his last theorem that didn’t quite fit in the margin, and Yoda’s deathbed revelation that “there is another Skywalker”.

People familiar with the matter have moved on, of course, and are now muttering about what Apple will do once it enters into the car business. This, after years of telling us probable release dates, then announcing production delays, parts shortages, legal hurdles and other apparently insurmountable obstacles to postpone the TV. But you believe them, right? “People familiar with the matter” must know, right?

Well, sometimes they do. People familiar with the matter went on and on about Apple going into the watch business while many in the wider pundit community (this writer included) wondered why in the world that would be a good idea. Occasionally – just occasionally – they really are familiar with
the matter.

(Just an aside: my favourite comment in an Apple Watch review was the fellow who wrote: “I’m loving the concept of having the time on my wrist instead of in my pocket”. Some people are easier to surprise than others.)

I’m still not sure the Apple Watch is such a crash-hot idea. We’ll see how it works out.

While we wait, expect to see many more reports from unnamed people familiar with the matter telling us when Apple will go into the car business, what models it intends to produce, and of course a range of speculation disguised as insider knowledge about the capabilities of the machines. They’ll be self-driving, of course. Closely integrated with Siri and Apple Maps, of course. People familiar with the matter will say so.

If that doesn’t make you fear people familiar with the matter, I don’t know what will.

But as any of the release dates look like it might be in danger of approaching, expect people familiar with the matter to disclose – in strictest confidence, of course – that there has been a delay of some sort such that Tim Cook won’t be able to announce it as planned. 

Because people familiar with the matter know it was planned, even if you don’t.

I’m not saying that people familiar with the matter were entirely wrong about Apple’s TV probings. There may well have been some early-stage exploration somewhere within Apple about whether or not the TV business was worth getting into. That doesn’t mean Jony Ive has a prototype worked up. It just means Apple is a big enough company that it can explore options, even if they lead nowhere.

People familiar with the matter ought to know the difference.

Matthew JC Powell is a technology commentator, philosopher and father of two, in no particular order