Under the wire: Sir, yes sir!

You have to hand it to Steve Jobs — he knows how to name a product. He’s got a photo management program called “iPhoto” - easy.

A video editor called “iMovie” - easy. You want to play some tunes, use “iTunes” - easy. DVD burning on Steve’s machines is handled by “iDVD” - nothing could be easier.

Even the nascent media-centre interface on recent Macs isn’t burdened with a cumbersome appellation like “Mac OS X 10.4.6 Tiger Media Center Edition” — it’s called “Front Row”. How relaxing is that? Lie back, set a spell. Take your shoes off.

Some real thought goes into naming Apple products, and generally it pays off. I never quite got “Cyberdog,” but for the most part, Apple’s software titles are memorable, non-threatening and clearly explicate the product’s function.

I told you that so I can tell you this: In recent times, Apple has started shipping Macs built using Intel processors like those found in non-descript beige boxes that run Windows. They are, however, not exactly the same as generic Windows boxes and there’s a lot of unusual hardware in them - so it’s not straightforward to install Windows on an Intel-based Mac.

What’s more, Apple’s Intel boxes use Intel’s Extensible Firmware Interface for booting, rather than the ancient PC-BIOS that most Intel boxes still use. (To be fair, they also abandon the equally ancient Open Firmware that PowerPC-based Macs still use.) Since Windows XP relies on PC-BIOS, it won’t run on an Intel Mac without a fight.

Nonetheless, since perhaps a day after the first Intel-based Macs hit developers’ desks, the fight has been on. Mere weeks ago, a contest to force Windows to run on a Mac generated global interest and thousands of dollars in prize money for the successful hacker. Kudos.

The solution that hacker devised involved an extraordinarily complex series of reformats and restarts, with drivers hacked and patched from all over.

The installation took anywhere from three hours to nine - if you could do it at all. Even then, not all of the unique Apple hardware could be driven by Windows, so you ended up with an incomplete machine. Still, you know, kudos for the effort.

Within days of the competition having been won, Apple released a bit of software that handles the installation for you. Patches the firmware so Windows will boot without EFI, creates a disk of Windows drivers for the Apple hardware, then walks you through installing Windows XP (which you have to provide yourself). All up, it takes 40 minutes and can be done by someone with minimal knowledge of Windows.

Apple calls this miracle-working bit of software “Boot Camp”. Hey, that doesn’t sound easy, does it? Cool pun, but I picture the drill sergeant from “Full Metal Jacket” marching his grunts twenty miles through the mud in the rain while screaming about how much they make him want to puke.

Apple picks its names carefully. If you want to install Windows on Apple hardware, go ahead — but we ain’t gonna make it sound fun.

If Matthew JC. Powell makes you want to puke, tell him so on mjcp@optusnet.com.au.