Skin fix

OPINION: I’m intrigued with the news that a group of Canadian innovators has come up with a device embedded in a bikini-style swimsuit that tells its wearer when they’ve had too much sun.

This intrigues me for several reasons: First, what do Canadians know about bikinis? I spent my childhood in Canada, and I can tell you there’s about five minutes a year when you can wear a bikini (not that I ever did and I wouldn’t tell you anyway).

My recollection is of teenage girls sitting on the “beaches” (by which I mean the driftwood-strewn pebbled frontages to the Great Lakes) with the shoulders of their t-shirts pulled down to expose a tiny bit of skin, in hopes that the sun may stay warm long enough, and penetrate the smog from the great industrial cities of the United States sufficiently, to lend them a slight bronzing. Ah, memories.

Not that sunburn is not a risk in Canada — don’t get me wrong. In the height of winter you can get a very nasty burn on your face because the sun is bearing down from above and also reflected off the snow from below, to say nothing of the glare from the fangs of rampaging polar bears. At such a time, however, you are fairly unlikely to be wearing a bikini.

Second, I suspect there’s a disconnect between the market of people who are sufficiently concerned about sun exposure that they would wear a geeky-looking swimsuit (see accompanying picture — very 1960s) in public and people who want to lie on a beach wearing next to nothing.

If you’re concerned about skin cancer, you don’t lie on the beach tempting the elements to do their worst. If you want to expose yourself to the health risks inherent in ultraviolet radiation, a beeping monitor on your bikini bottoms isn’t going to change your mind.

Note (this is important that the beeping monitor is on the bottom section of the bikini.

Clearly the inventors have taken into account the possibility that the device will be worn by safety-conscious young women who wish to lie under the sun not wearing the top section. Full of contradictions those Canadians.

This means the market for this device is restricted to geeky women who want to be seen in public with a little beeping monitor on their bikini bottoms — I don’t think that’s a huge demographic.

Finally, I’m intrigued because I thought there was already a mechanism for warning young women that they’ve had too much sun.

Namely parents and concerned elder strangers who wander up and down the beach in their coveralls telling the young whipper-snappers to cover up and have a bit of shame.

This never had any effect when I was a whipper-snapper and I doubt it works now. If you won’t listen to your elders, why would you listen to your pants? Maybe I don’t want an answer to that.

Beyond my intrigue, I’m actually concerned that this device is yet another example of humans relying on technology when we should be using common sense.

Health professionals have said for decades that exposure to the sun should be minimised.

A few minutes here and there is safe — indeed required for vitamin D — but the whole idea of sunbathing is essentially cancer-baiting madness. The idea of a device that goes “bing” when you’re done, like a microwave oven for your body, goes against every notion of good policy.

Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe I just wish the young whipper-snappers would cover up and have a bit of shame.

Matthew JC. Powell feels he’s joining the “elders”. Exchange war stories on mjcp@optusnet.com.au.

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