Merging on ridiculous - How about Harvey Rabid

Rabid has realised that there is strength in numbers and also realised we don’t have any. Numbers that is.

Nor strength for that matter. Looking around for a solution we noticed that up in Queensland they like to grow by merging.

Although how a National party can merge in one state and not merge in others sent us looking for a better definition of National in rabidpedia – no surprise there but we’ve got our own version of reality to maintain.

And what a Liberal National is also escapes us for the moment.

Never mind, merging seems to be working for them, so we should look at the possibilities of doing the same – growth without losing identity and control, or more importantly, spending any money. But choosing the right merger partner is proving problematic.

To begin with the biggest, we thought perhaps a merger with a serious national chain of IT resellers.

But “Harvey Rabid” just doesn’t sound right and Gerry isn’t returning our calls for some reason.

Next best choice would be “Rabid Optima” but it seems they’re too busy talking to some blokes in administration and can’t make any commitments.

And they did put us off a little with “got any money” as a greeting line.

Still, can’t blame them for being honest – we might try that for ourselves. No, don’t be silly – we’ll try the greeting line, not the honesty policy – you must have been thinking of another reseller.

Perhaps we need to look at merging directly with a vendor who can lend the necessary street-cred. Let’s see now, “Rabid Dell”? Probably not.

How about “Rabid Apple”? Nah, that won’t fly.

Saint Steve wouldn’t let our name come first and “Apple Reseller” is never going to work. That’s been tried already and nobody made a buck out of it.

“Micro Rabid” or “Rabidsoft”? Too restrictive – we’d be stuck selling bloated software, bendy keyboards and glow-in-the-dark mice.

Surely nobody can make any money with that combination?

“Rabid Packard”? Now there’s a thought, but that nice Carly woman has left the building and she was the main believer in mergers.

No point trying to work in tandem with them any longer.

IBM? Well, certainly they have the name but you just can’t mess with that name.

“IB-Rabid?” Even merging the full names wouldn’t work – “International Rabid Business Machines Reseller” would just end up as IRBMR so there’s goes our identity again. And theirs.

Maybe we need to look to Asia – the new home of IT entrepreneurship.

Now LG used to be Lucky Goldstar so perhaps we could interest them in “Rabid Goldy”? “Lucky Rabid?” Or maybe Samsung would be keen on “Rabid Sam”?

There’s gotta be a vendor out there which needs a little rabid in their life, and their name, and boardroom, and share options, and expense account.

Yes please, we could do with an expense account that extends beyond the coins leftover from the morning takeaway coffee run.

Perhaps we need to focus on communications, so often forgotten in the heady world of IT?

“Rabid Telstra”? Say what? No, that’s not already their name.

No, that’s just what some unkind people say.

Trust us, we’ve trademarked everything to do with rabid.

So, who’s left? “Rabid Harris?” Nah, they’re already merged with Coles.

What about their main opposition? They don’t even have a technology division.

“Rabid W” or perhaps “Big Rabid”? Now that’s starting to sound like
a winner!

Gotta go! Merger partners waiting!

about hardware harvey how merging on rabid ridiculous